In Search of Home
Progress of Love by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
An in-depth interview with Chicago-based Venezuelan artist Jeffly Gabriela Molina on painting, family, and finding home 💚
Addy: Jeffly, thank you so much for joining me. What initially drew you to painting?
Jeffly: I have been inclined to draw and paint since I was a kid, like every kid you might say, but I think I was more insistent about it than most kids. I also may have shown that I had a little talent when I was little because my parents, although they were very young, still made an effort to take me to some after-school programs that taught me how to draw and paint.
I come from a small city in Venezuela, and there weren't many places like that, and I would often get discouraged after a couple of weeks. Even with that, I kept painting, and I kept drawing, so much so that when I turned seven, they gifted me an easel and a set of oil paints. I have been learning how to paint with oils since I was seven years old.
Addy: Such a young age to start painting, it must come so naturally to you now.
Jeffly: Yes, it's more of a way of living. Whenever I have been away from the studio for weeks in a row, or I have been so busy that I have not been able to paint, I become very anxious. It's not something that I can stop myself from doing anymore. For my mental health, I feel that if I'm not spending time in the studio, I have no other purpose, It's like that.
Addy: Would you say it’s therapeutic or a part of everyday life?
Jeffly: I wouldn't say it's therapeutic, but I also wouldn't stop people from thinking of it that way. In the studio, I really wrestle with some of the paintings. It's not easy to come up with an idea, then to execute that idea, to try to make it match your original intention. There is a lot of work and effort involved in that, and I'm not always relaxed when I'm doing that, or sometimes it's even physically challenging, not only mentally challenging. It is a challenge that I need because once I have accomplished expressing something that I have here in my mind, I am so filled by the reward.
The reward is: that thing exists. I did it. The process too is amazing. Sometimes just from the moment you put the first mark, you have a feeling of, “Oh, okay,” every mark is a decision. There's so much focus involved, and it's thrilling. It adds an element of excitement and challenge to my life that I need. In that sense, it is therapeutic. I need that challenge. I need that way to express myself.
Addy: Definitely, I love that. Your work features a variety of different motifs. I've noticed flowers, glasses of water, old photographs, and rocking chairs as well in some of the older paintings. How do you choose these symbols, and what significance do they hold in representing your memories and your identity?
Jeffly: The cups of water, of which I've made several, represent a gesture of practice in my family home, primarily by the women in my family. Whenever somebody is in distress or there is a difficult situation in my family, my grandmother or one of my aunts, or my mother will put this cup of water atop a plate for the souls in purgatory. It’s an offering for the souls in purgatory to drink this water while they help us pray for whoever needs those prayers in that moment.
Animas Benditas, Rueguen Por Nosotros by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
I think it's a Catholic ritual, but I also think that my family's affinity with the souls in purgatory is peculiar because we are actually not very religious. We don't really go to church. We don't pride ourselves because we're churchgoers, or anything like that. We'd rather pride ourselves because we're funny and mischievous in a way. I guess we have a certain affinity with the souls in purgatory. These are souls that do not go to heaven or that are waiting to enter heaven because they weren't necessarily perfect. They committed some sins.
When COVID hit and things fell outside of our control, I remembered that ritual and I thought it was beautiful. My mother at that point had actually moved from Venezuela with me to Chicago. I remember leaving my room and seeing a cup of water atop a plate and realising that it's also a gesture of powerlessness. When things fall out of your control, you pray. Even somebody like me that is not as religious will be compelled to pray. Those little paintings with a cup of water are a form of prayer. They symbolise the fact that even when things are outside of my control, I still hope for things to be well for people in my family and beyond.
In terms of other symbols, there is one rocking chair that is in reference to my great-grandmother who always had a rocking chair in her entry hall. I have often used chairs as surrogates for people. Whenever you see a chair in a painting that is not figurative, that chair is the figure in the painting. The reason I did that before was because I didn't always know how to paint figures. I taught myself little by little. In my early work, you'll see that first there were silhouettes and then the silhouettes became more rendered until, eventually, I even inserted myself in my paintings and started creating portraits. It has been a transition for me to get there, of finding comfort and freedom in representing myself. Oftentimes before, I would represent myself in the form of a chair.
Heaven Is a Place by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Then the flowers, I call them homemade sculptures. I started creating that series after I got married, when I started creating my own home, and my own version of family with my partner. The reason why those are very symbolic to me is because, for 15 years, I have been here in the United States. I came here right before I turned 18. In this time, I think that I have often tried to make a home for myself. I never felt that I had a home until now. To honour this home, I create these little flower arrangements. I paint them to commemorate this period in my life, to honour the fact that I feel that I have found a home after many years of searching for one.
They take on different meanings in themselves. For instance, when all of the flowers are red it means I am feeling very intense, and I have all of these emotions. I go to the market and choose all of these red flowers that relate to my way of feeling, and then make a bouquet. If it's summer, I might grab a bunch of wildflowers, if I’m feeling more free. Each bouquet references a type of feeling.
When it's not bouquets, when it's a little dandelion, it might reference something about me feeling fragile, maybe my home is feeling a little fragile at that moment. They all have different meanings that I hope resonate as abstract or as quiet as those meanings might be.
Homemade Sculpture No. 12 by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Addy: I definitely think that they resonate in different ways, for sure.
Jeffly: Thank you.
Addy: The influence of your Venezuelan heritage is evident in your art. How does your cultural background inform your artistic choices?
Jeffly: I think that each of us develops an idea of beauty, that is both influenced by our experiences, and also by our own desire to expand on what we understand as beautiful. Growing up in Venezuela, I had a particular idea of what was beautiful that maybe I learned from my parents and from my immediate environment. What was beautiful in Venezuela were perhaps things with a lot of patterns, colour, figuration, and narrative. That was the type of art that most people seemed to like. I grew up liking things that were not very conceptual, things that had a bigger emotional voltage than intellectual.
When I came here to the States, and eventually I went to university, I understood that ideas could also be beautiful. That there were other ways of expressing things that were also beautiful. Venezuela will always have a stamp on my work in the sense that it’s where I first understood how to express in terms of images. The type of images I create, they tend to be figurative, they tend to be colourful. I try to make work that, to this day, my parents will like. I like to make work that is beautiful, that is meaningful, that has something that makes you want to look at it and understand it. I hope that answers the question.
Addy: It does. I love the idea that art can be considered beautiful in such different ways. Also, I think experiencing both cultures has given you a broader perspective, which adds dimensions to your work.
The use of self-portraiture in your art suggests a personal exploration. How does depicting yourself in your paintings contribute to your overall artistic expression, if at all?
Jeffly: I think that for the first time, I am allowing myself to be in the picture as part of the work. In a lot of my paintings, I am in the nude. The reason for that is because I want to show a vulnerable side of myself. I find that by adding clothes, I start to think about the choice of clothes and what it will say about me, and that's not what the work is about, so I often prefer to not use clothes at all.
Feelings by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
There is a back and forth that goes on in my mind, because of course, when you are a young woman, people will judge you and say that these are narcissistic images. I have had to put that judgment to one side and not let it impede my desire to create these images. The work is about feeling vulnerable in different stages. Some paintings are about feeling very vulnerable financially, like the pool paintings, or about not having had a residency in this country for so long, and then eventually having that. It’s about me wanting to be introspective.
There is a painting titled How One Becomes What One Is, and I am holding a camera shooter. The painting is of me taking a photo of myself, and it sparked the beginning of a body of work that says, “I am going to look at myself, I'm going to show you who I am because I think that who I am is actually not that unique. I think that who I am may relate to you too.” Maybe there is a conversation to be had around these feelings that I feel. Maybe I'm not that alone when I feel a little broken, or lonely, or fragile. Other people might feel this way too.
When I give artist talks, I always tell students there is no worse idea than the one that doesn't get executed. Right now, these are the ideas that I have, the ideas that bring me to the studio. Although I am not that comfortable painting myself, I have to follow this work until it's exhausted. Sometimes we question the work that we're doing so much that it doesn't get done. I try not to do that. I try to do the work, and then maybe later, we'll question it.
Addy: I think that's a really good way to approach things and also very brave, allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable with depicting yourself and not focusing on how other people might view a self-portrait or a nude work. It's more about expressing your vulnerabilities to others. They can see themselves in that if they want to, but it's very open, which I really like.
Jeffly: Thank you.
No se pierde el tiempo, ni se gana by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Addy: What role does spirituality or introspection play in your creative process? Is that something that you think about?
Jeffly: I think the paintings can be very metaphysical. When I was making the cup of water painting, there was a genuine gesture of prayer. There was a genuine gesture of me to the world. I spent however many hours in the studio making this beautiful object, and hoping to send the world some love and in some ways adding to the many prayers out there for things to be okay.
Although I am myself, in my daily life, not as spiritual, and not as religious, I used to be more so when I was in Venezuela. In the studio, I let ideas of belief in a higher self play a role. The paintings that I make believe in ghosts, believe in God, believe in the power of language and prayer. In that sense, that's how I express my spirituality. In terms of introspection, I paint the way some of my favourite writers and musicians write and compose.
I look at myself, and search for what's truth in myself. Whether it is a beautiful truth or an ugly truth, if it is something relevant and pressing, I will paint it. I will try to give it a visual vocabulary. I will try to share it with the world, again, looking for it to resonate with other people. Painting is a very lonely practice. We're always in the studio. I think that a part of me is just wanting to connect through my work with other people.
Addy: It can be difficult spending all that time alone in the studio. I imagine at times it’s very isolating and can feel solitary in the way of making and creating. It's interesting that you lean into the uncomfortable truths and you don't shy away from that side of things. It's a way of giving space to every thought and every idea that needs to exist, almost. Can you describe your creative process?
Free of Concern by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Jeffly: A lot of my ideas start as writing, as sentences, words. I have this habit of creating lists of words that somehow connect with something meaningful in my life. Chairs, hands, a good person. Sometimes it's words, sometimes it's phrases, sometimes it's full sentences. Sometimes it's an actual articulated idea, like a portrait of a good woman. Sometimes it's more poetic and abstract, like, how do you paint an idea? Sometimes it's questions. These words often have the potential to conjure an image.
After I create these lists, which I do a few times a year, and I am beginning to start some new paintings, I revisit those lists and see what still resonates. Then I start developing an idea from that. The idea starts as a sketch, like, literally stick figures in my sketchbook. I'm very bad at drawing, actually. I'm good at painting, but I don't know how to draw. If my drawings are terrible, I use other things. I might start with a collage that then eventually becomes a painting, or I use source images online, or I stage myself doing a particular action that I need to do to convey a feeling or idea.
Sometimes it's more immediate. Say, I have an argument with my mother, and a particular feeling comes to the surface, I'll go to the studio and write it down and try to give it shape, form, try to make that into a still of a moment in my life. Once the idea is complete, then the most annoying part happens, which is then I have to prepare the surface, which is when I wish I had an assistant, but I don’t. [laughs] That takes about a week. Then, eventually, I paint.
I try not to wait too long so that I don't start doubting an idea. One way that I try to make a promise is I sketch it out. Once it's sketched out in my sketchbook, it's very unlikely that I forget about it. I will make it. I just finished a painting that I sketched two years ago. That gives you an idea of how I will stick to it if I’ve written and sketched it in my journal.
Cosas de la Vida I by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Addy: The words that you write down, do they ever become the titles of the artwork?
Jeffly: Yes. It makes it so much easier for me to talk about my work too, because I write about it oftentimes before I create the work. That way I know where it's coming from.
Addy: Oh, that's really interesting because often it's the reverse where you paint something very instinctively, and then suddenly, you have to explain it.
Jeffly: That also happens to me sometimes. There is a lot of power in doing something that is hidden even from yourself. There are times when I have an image but I don't necessarily know what exactly it means. I didn't know what the flowers meant until I painted like five of them. I just kept painting them and then I realised that I was honouring this time in my life and the fact that I have a home.
Addy: It’s like a constant state of discovery. The concept of identity seems quite central in your work. Can you maybe elaborate on how you explore and interpret your various roles—artist, woman, and daughter—in your paintings?
Jeffly: Yes. I love how you pose that question because you understand that I'm not just talking about identity but I'm talking about the different roles that we play in life. The role of the daughter, the role of the wife, the role of the friend, or just a young woman. That is more specific I find, than the word identity. I think that I'm very curious about the roles that we play in life and how we try to be good in them. Sometimes we can't. I also paint about that.
There is a new series of these broken candy jars that I made after having an argument with somebody I loved. Then I went and cleaned every piece of glass and I glued the jar back together. Here I’m talking about how we try to mend our relationships after we ourselves do something that harms them. I know that my experiences in these roles are important because I like to paint things that are true to me and how I feel. If I feel it, I might have a better chance of expressing something that somebody else feels too. I like to create those connections with people through my work.
Addy: Definitely. That actually links to my next question: how has the process of delving into your family history through your work affected your personal understanding of your roots and the stories that shape you?
Jeffly: Very much. I left Venezuela when I was young and excited. I was curious to learn another language and live in another country. I also left knowing that I had little opportunity to become an artist in a country that was starting to wrestle politically and socially. When I left, I just wanted to leave it all behind. I was young and I wasn't curious about my family's history or all that I was leaving behind. Then I turned 30 and I met the love of my life and decided that I wanted to get married.
That’s when I became a little bit more curious about myself because, at a certain age, you start behaving a little bit like your father and like your mother and like your older sister. You start questioning those behaviours. You start questioning who you are and you realise that you are not you 100%, that you're a combination of histories and patterns that have been repeated generation after generation.
May All Your Dreams Come True by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
I became very curious about that and I have been digging into my family history to understand myself better, to understand my family better, but also to share some of that with the world, some of what I find beautiful, and some of what I find not so beautiful. Again, hoping that people will perhaps see themselves in these images too. I paint a snake inside a house as a way of saying, “We all have a little bit of poison in us,” in this case the house is actually a self-portrait. I have some poison in me that is generational. I try to not act on it, but it's there.
La Bendicion Tio by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
Addy: It's so interesting that as time went on, you felt a growing desire to learn more about that part of your life, your family, and what makes you you. I think a lot of people can also relate to that feeling, especially when they've grown up in a country where they weren't born or they have family elsewhere. When you're younger, it doesn't seem very significant, but as you get a bit older, it's something that a lot of us, I think, are quite curious to know more about. That's really powerful.
Jeffly: Thank you.
Addy: Marriage is also an inspiration for some of your paintings. I think there's one where you're underwater with your partner, which is a very beautiful image. Can you discuss how personal relationships, particularly your experience of marriage, become a source of inspiration for your work?
Jeffly: I am the type of artist that will look at her surroundings for inspiration, so I think that it was inevitable for me to eventually paint about my experience of marriage, which is something so life-changing when you make a commitment of that magnitude. Neither my husband or I are religious, but we did understand when we got married that it was something sacred and holy, the ritual, and the decision.
Swimmers by Jeffly Gabriela Molina
In addition to making work that explores my family's history and how it affects me, I also began to make paintings to try to make sense of the newness in my life that came with building a home, and making a home with somebody. There is a lot of beauty and a lot of complexity to it that’s is very inspiring to me. It allows me to make work that is about love and about family, and how we are not always our best selves with the people that we love the most. All of those ideas are very interesting to me. That's why I make paintings sometimes about my marriage.
Addy: You mentioned how we're not always our best selves with the people we love, I think it's hard to sometimes accept that as truth with personal relationships. I love that you’re able to translate those ideas onto your canvases through different motifs, like being underwater.
Jeffly: My husband, who is also a painter, has been painting about us and our life for much longer. I think that how vulnerable and tender his work is has also influenced me to respond to his images with my own interpretations of what our life is like. It's also important for me to recognise how he has influenced me to make work that looks at our lives and looks at ourselves that clearly.
Addy: Wow, I wasn't aware of the fact that he also makes art about the two of you. Do you find that viewers interpret your paintings in ways that surprise you or offer new perspectives on your own narratives?
Jeffly: Whenever I have had the privilege to be in a gallery presenting my work and I have been able to engage with viewers, I am always just forever grateful whenever they either bring forth a new interpretation or their interpretation lines up with mine. The fact that they connect with the work is to me a great honour, a great gesture. That's all I'm aiming for. I'm not aiming for a specific interpretation, I'm aiming for connection. I think most artists want that.
When you write a book, or a song, you want the people that receive it to connect with its substance. That connection is important to me. I don't care if it's different or the same as I intended. If it surprises me, great. If it's the same, it's also a surprise because not all of my paintings are that direct. More often than not, it's a surprise, and that's beautiful.
Addy: Yes, I love that answer. At the end of interviews, I like to do something called a rapid fire round 🔥 where I ask a series of quick questions. Light or shadow?
Jeffly: Light.
Addy: Cityscape or landscape?
Jeffly: Cityscape.
Addy: Earth tones or jewel tones?
Jeffly: Jewel tones.
Addy: That's nice. I agree. Vintage or contemporary?
Jeffly: Vintage.
Addy: Velvet or silk?
Jeffly: Velvet.
Addy: I love velvet. Early mornings or late nights?
Jeffly: Early mornings.
Addy: Oh, okay. [laughs] I'm not a morning person.
Jeffly: I am. I am such a morning person.
Addy: Fascinating. Mountains or valleys?
Jeffly: Mountains.
Addy: Spring or autumn? Or I guess in the US you say “fall”. [laughs]
Jeffly: Autumn. Yes, fall. Yes, for sure.
Addy: Classical music or ambient sounds?
Jeffly: Classical music.
Addy: Final one, what’s the last song that you listened to?
Jeffly: Oh, boy. What was it? Let's look it up. I won't lie. I will tell you the truth. I have a very eclectic taste, so don't be surprised. Let's see. The last song was for sure by Rosalia. I love Rosalia.
Addy: She's so good.
Jeffly: It was La combi Versace, I think that was the last song. I love Rosalia.
Addy: Yes, she’s amazing. Jeffly, thank you so much for answering all of my questions!
Jeffly: My pleasure.
Addy: I really enjoyed hearing more about your practice and the things that inspire you. I feel like I learned so much.
For more from the amazing Jeffly, check out her website here!